When Love Hurts
I've taken a few days away to think about what really matters to me. As an impassioned woman of color, I tend to wear the worries of the world on my heart. Watching the local, national and international news, plus reading a plethora of online news links, I find myself internalizing a lot of the pain that happens across this globe. I care about people, especially children. When I come across stories about abuse, (sexual, verbal, or physical), I cringe. How can we be so horrible to one another? Why do people do the things they do?
Yesterday, an Atlanta man, being tried a 2nd time on rape charges, killed a judge, court reporter, and a deputy before fleeing from the scene.
Nichols, the man accused of killing three people in a courthouse rampage Friday, was on trial on charges he burst into the woman's home with a loaded shotgun, bound her with duct tape and repeatedly sexually assaulted her.The fact that he is a black man saddens me, angers me, and horrifies me. What made this man snap? Why was he so sadistic? Why kill innocent people?
At the core of this is domestic violence. Although the stigma has lessened so that victims are more apt to seek help, the statistics are still staggering. According to the National Center of the Victims of Crime, an estimated 50 women are victimized by an intimate EVERY HOUR.
50 women that are abused by someone they care about. 50 women that are hit or beaten by a loved one. 50 women that are the victims of verbal abuse. One woman, too many.
Verbal abuse can be just as bad as physical violence. Hurtful words leave a voiceprint on the mind and can erode the self esteem of the victim. Allowing someone to disrespect your boundaries is the 1st step into victimization.
We teach people how to treat us. Unless we as women demand respect from our partners, we will lose ground and become vulnerable to those that prey on those whose kindness is taken for weakness.
Laci Peterson and Lori Hacking were just two of the news stories that went national of pregnant women that were killed or beaten by their husbands or boyfriends. Here are some of the names that aren’t so well known.
Liliana Alvarez, 19Those are just a SAMPLE from this week.
Xian Quian Cheung, 41:
Una Brady, 43
Lana Holbrook, 40
The Surgeon General of the United States reports that domestic violence causes more injury to adult women than cancers, heart attacks, or strokes.
There is help out there. Call the Domestic violence hotline @ 1-800-799-7233.
Here is their website http://www.ndvh.org
Please don’t become a statistic. Call the number. Thank God I did.