June 10, 2005

Doing Time on Crack Street

Well, I did it. I finally moved from the hell that was my last apartment. Being chased out by the new tenant below me was the final straw. I actually owe her thanks for her delusions compelling me to find safe harbor. I do feel sorry that she is paranoid schizophrenic, but why did she also have to be on crack / marijuana / bad tap water also? This story isn’t for the faint of heart or those short of laughter. Tread lightly.

Crack and Crazy are a lethal combination, it isn’t cute either. (Enter U-Haul Truck here). After several calls to the property management, I was referred to the police. After calling the police 3 times, I was told to get a restraining order. Gee, why hadn’t I thought of that? (Insert rolling eyes here). All I really needed is a useless piece of paper as kryptonite to ward off the Demon Crackhead that told the police that I was “following and spying” on her INSIDE her apartment. (Cue the theme to the “Twilight Zone”).

Only I would have a stalker that recognized me from high school. After an initial mediation in the hallway with Officer Bored, Miss CH (Crackhead), in a brief moment of supposed lucidity said, “Now I know you, didn’t you go to _______ High School?” Oh. Great. All I want is to peacefully coexist in this landmine of a building and I wind up with The High School Reunion from Hades. Now mind you, I didn’t recognize this woman from a can of paint, but from this difficult negotiation, I THOUGHT that she would stop banging on my door threatening to pulverize me (insert her swearing & foaming of the mouth here). The fact that I didn’t even know that she had moved downstairs in the 1st place didn’t matter. This is what happened when I forgot to read the Crackhead Tenancy Memo that week. (Sarcastic look) She promised to stop terrorizing me and I went back inside my apartment, locking all 17 deadbolt locks. (joke).

The building wasn’t always like that. When I moved in, I thought it was the ideal environment. School across the street and it was close to bus lines and grocery stores. But the brochure failed to mention the eventual laundry room thefts where the machines would be vandalized for spare change. Looks are so deceiving. I would have never guessed in 2 years that the seemingly quiet abode that housed 22 other families would metamorphosis, within 3 months, into the Drop Inn center for every 20 something drug dealer forced to move back in with his mama or young single mothers that moonlight as bootleg call girls at night. The front walk way became a sea of Styrofoam and fast food bags, beer bottles and the occasional over ripened diaper. The back stairwells were littered with used condoms and trash bags that broke down before being carried another 50 feet to the outside dumpster. I didn’t see the condoms, because I seldom went to that side of the building without an armed escort, mace, taser, tear gas or a grenade.

The handwriting on the wall was when the original management company jumped ship and disappeared almost overnight. I felt sorry for the new property managers walking into this abyss of urban dysfunction. For the record, there was a cluster of good law abiding families also living there, but like me, they were either trying to move or wishing that the Band of Merry Crackheads would just leave. Good tenants had to wade through the crowd of broken lawn chairs, baby strollers, and menacing young men and women wearing their urban uniforms of Phat Farm, baggy pants, throwback jerseys, the latest gym shoes or bandanas. It had gotten to the point that trying to gain entrance at the front door was similar to seeing if you were on the “A” list at a trendy new nightclub. All that was missing was a velvet rope.

Crackhead Concierge: “Yes, may I help you?”

Me: “Uhmmm, I live in Apt. # 1”

Crackhead Concierge: “Okay, and who is your sponsoring Crackhead?”

Me: “My WHAT????”

Crackhead Concierge: “I’m sorry, you aren’t on the list. However, if you give me your DVD player, I can see what I can do.”


Why didn’t I move before now? I was obstinately naïve and defiant. Why should I have to leave? Why should people, that don’t take stock in their own homes, force their illegal and trifling lifestyles on others? *sigh* I really wanted to think that my calm demeanor, civility, prayers and tears would change them. Yeah, I had my delusions too.

Calling the police made me a target. Go figure that by asserting my rights as a tenant would cause the “Walking Dead” to glare and snarl at me. Excuse me, but if you are doing so much dirt that you have to run in the house when a siren comes by, maybe it’s time to get out of the “game”.

Drugs are dismantling neighborhoods, home by home. It’s so sad that the grip of addiction has its own set of collateral damage. Children being neglected, incidents of domestic violence, thefts, shootings, financial devastation and ruin, unemployment, incarceration, and sometimes murder are part of the pathology that plagues cities across the country. Listening to the approaching incidents of drug related crimes in my area pressed me to a renewed sense of urgency, but a feared state of inertia.

I understand that addiction is a disease, but it is a CHOICE. I shouldn’t be held hostage by someone’s preference to indulge in smoking or selling drugs. Moving outside my comfort zone was the only solution. I may not be close to downtown and familiar surroundings anymore, but peace of mind is priceless.

And besides, they can’t pawn THAT anyway.







Are you a South Park kid?


My image as a South Park Gurl Posted by Hello

http://www.planearium2.de/flash/spstudio.html


I thought this was the cutest thing! This site allows you to create your own South Park character. Although I have seen the show a handful of times, I still think the cartoons are cute. The show is a lil rough for me.

I'm gonna name her Camille. :)

You can call her Cammy ;)


*thank you to Random Responses for the link*

June 5, 2005

She's BACK! :)









Big Hugs to ALL!

I am back and ready to share my odyssey in moving. Thanks to all of the well wishes, emails and calls from friends that care about me.

Headed to church, I will fill you all in later.

Stay Tuned! You don't wanna miss this.

;-)

Sepialove

May 11, 2005

Personal Sabbatical

I miss my blog, but right now I have some OFFLINE things that need my immediate attention. Please pray for me that I will get everything handled and I can come back refreshed and ready to post again. I should be back soon.


God bless u all :)

Sepia

May 4, 2005

Perseverance



(First-year medical student Tim Cordes listens as second-year student Megan Neuman describes the nerves and tissues of a human shoulder during anatomy class at the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1998. In December, Cordes, who is blind, graduated near the top of his class)


Many barriers to overcome

In a world where skeptics always seem to be saying, stop, this isn’t something a blind person should be doing, it was one more barrier overcome. There are only a handful of blind doctors in this country. But Cordes makes it clear he could not have joined this elite club alone....... http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7318398/



What an amazing story! I needed some good news, what about you? ;-)



May 2, 2005

Reality Checks

Raising a special needs child is a blessing of mixed emotions. She has taught me that the capacity of patience is almost inexhaustable. After 10 years as Lil Sepia's mom, I now know that my road will be filled with joy, pain, laughter, repressed anger at and endless prayers to the GOD that gifted me with her.


Last night I watched "Riding the Bus with My Sister", a Hallmark tv movie and feel good tear jerker that will send the "normal" world their seasonal dose of "Thank God, that isn't me" or
"Poor poor woman, I feel her pain". Spare me. My reality doesn't end with credits and a good cry.


Andie Mc Dowell played a harried career photographer that is forced to reconcile with her developmentally delayed sister, played by Rosie O'Donell, after the death of their father. After watching this, I have a renewed respect for Rosie, she played this role without creating a characture or dramatic theatrical overkill. Andie's performance reminds me of my own struggle to deal with the cruel side of society. The side that still throws the word "RETARDED" around as a joke.


When I chose to have my daughter at 31, I would have never believed at the time I would wind up with a child whose existence would so challenged. People can be so cruel, even family will distance themselves out of ignorance or from being uncomfortable around someone "different". Coming to grips with the isolation and stunted sociability has caused me to seek other forms of reaching out to those that I can commiserate with, as well as "typical" parents dealing with the same daily childhood issues.

The reality checks for me come on a daily, if not on an hourly basis. I have chosen not to write much about her. not out of embarassment, but out of frustration. I spend alot of time defending her diagnoses. Mental retardation and Cerebral Palsy are quite a 1-2 punch and my patience with the uneducated and ignorant comments, stares and atittudes wears thinner on some days more than others. When I see children stare, sometimes I take the opportunity to introduce Lil Sepia and give them age appropriate info on her "differences" as well as what they may have in common. The parents I hope will teach their child about disability and sensitivity.

Here is a previous post on my take on societal perceptions of the handicapped.

http://sepialove.blogspot.com/2005/03/sensitivity.html


Speaking of that, one of the best books I have read on this topic is "Differences in Common", by Marilyn Trainer. She captures the struggle, with an unflinching look, at the truths of parenting her son with Down's syndrome.


Differences in Common Posted by Hello

I have read countless books on cerebral palsy, mental retardation, parenting and therapies. Occupational, physical, music, speech are just a few that have helped my daughter be more independant. It is a difficult balance between sheltering her and enabling her. I fight with family, friends, doctors, teachers and well meaning strangers who want to add their 3 cents to my supposed "plight".


As her mom, I can only hope that I will be able to give her the best of what she NEEDS, most of what she WANTS and pray that society will acknowledge we all have "differences in common".



Who knows, maybe GOD's sense of humor is that WE are the ones who are really "special" and THEY are angels living on earth laughing at US.


I just wonder. ;-)

Sepialove

Art Deco Magnificence Posted by Hello

Carew Tower Lobby Posted by Hello

May 1, 2005


Carew Tower celing Posted by Hello

Another look at the Fountain Posted by Hello

April 30, 2005

A Tale of Two Cowards

Changing your mind sometimes means being honest not only with yourself, but to others that may be impacted by your decision. This week, there are two women that not only had a change of heart, but went to great lengths to avoid responsibility.

Alicia Hardin 19, a student at Trinity International University in Chicago, Ill, homesick and wanting to leave school, sent out three threatening letters to some students so she could justify her departure from college. Over 40 students were moved off campus based on racial hysteria for protection.

http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/news/042705_AP_r2_student_threats.html

Jennifer Wilbanks 32, was supposed to be a blushing bride today. Her and her fiance had planned a enormous wedding with 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen plus sent out 600 invitations. But it was not to be. During a routine jog, Ms Wilbanks disappeared. After 3 frantic days of searching, the worried pleas from family and countless searches that exhausted the budgets of a small police force, Ms Wilbanks called 911.

Apparently she jumped on a bus to Las Vegas, then jumped on a bus winding up in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She called her fiance' and said that she had been kidnapped. Not true. Relieved, her family will reuniting with her later today.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050430/D89PNBKO0.html

What disturbs me about these women is the thought pattern that lead them to these decisions. It isn't easy to back out of these COSTLY mistakes, whether it is to wind up forfeiting tuition and room & board fees, sending back wedding presents, relinguishing reception deposits or just telling your fiance', " I'm JUST not that into you."

But the college student is now facing charges of hate crimes, punishable up to 5 years in prison, and the "RUNAWAY bride" isn't facing any charges at all. I have a problem with this. BOTH incited panic, BOTH caused the misuse of police resources and BOTH cause their family , friends and communities heartache and embarrassement.

I'm not saying that putting these women in jail will solve this, they both need psychological treatment and counseling. Perhaps extensive hours in community service dealing with REAL crisis victims and some restitution of monies spent by law enforcement and other agencies will give them a much needed reality check.


Bet they BOTH wished they could roll back time.



April 28, 2005

Redemption


Renewed in the Spirit Posted by Hello



I recently went back to church after a year and a half's hiatus. For me, it was the right decision. After taking a long hard look at my spirituality, I noticed that one crucial part of my dilemma was how I felt about fellowship and denominations.

As early as I can remember , I believed in God. My grandmother, Mother Dear, taught me "The Lord's Prayer" as soon as I could recite it. Although, I didn't grow up in a specific church, we attended frequently and I always felt secure in knowing that "God" was close by.

In my spiritual quest, as I have gotten older, I have often questioned the WHYS of my belief. I have been a member of various denominations, searching for the answer. I know that denominations are man made, but I was always puzzled by this ONE question.


"WHY do I believe?"

Church of God in Christ, AME, CME, Church of Christ, Baptist, Holiness, Non Denominational, Interdemonitational, Catholic, and Seventh Day Adventists were just a few of the churches that I either attended or joined. I needed something MORE. The yearning within to connect was as greedy as a newborn looking to nourish from its mother's breast.

My disillusionment with SOME black churches began when I saw growing cliquishness and insular behaviors that prevented or some how kept it's own flock/ministers/pastors from the very people that needed them most.

Attending one of the largest churches in Los Angeles was overwhelming, although I did take some pleasure in worshipping at a "popular" church, I felt swallowed up in its celebrity. The hierachy of leadership was so massive that just saying hello to the Pastor after Sunday's morning service was almost like trying to get an autograph from the Pope.

I decided that I needed a smaller congregation, one that allowed me to feel a part of the experience and not just a spectator. Not that I'm criticizing larger churches, I just know what makes me feel more comfortable. Being in a church that I have a connectedness to the WHOLE church, not just by membership, but by the bounty of works, is what I sought.

I am not moved by denominations. I am moved by faith and spirit, and I attend where my spirit is nurtured and lifted. Returning back to the ONE church where I felt at home and was worth my self prescribed exodus, not from GOD, but from the uncertainty of fellowship.

Now I am looking forward to a fellowship that is interested in RENEWED outreach that extends from the pulpit and the pews to minister to the needs of those that have may fallen in between the cracks. Within the hugs of familiar parishoners and the guidance of a learned Man of God, I once again feel the serenity to explore my feelings and gain the knowledge of the one that has blessed me so.

I'm back home Lord. :)

*photo taken @ my church this past Sunday..... all rights reserved*

Scientia est potentia - Knowledge is power


Howard Beats Harvard Posted by Hello

The Howard University Law School's moot court team took first place in the American Bar Association Mock Trial Competition, the first team representing a historically black college or university to do so.


"It solidified the fact that although others think we are a third-tier law
school, we are the best trial advocates," said Chris Stewart, a third-year law
student and a team member.

"No mathematical equation can calculate our excellence in trial advocacy."

Congratulations~!

April 26, 2005

Have we gone INSANE?




I am emotionally spent and utterly drained by this story. I have been debating this on various message boards and newspaper forums. I have talked about this story till I am almost blue in the face.

As a mom, I am HORRIFIED by some of the postings I have seen in my travels through cyberspace. Some wanted this little girl TAZERED, SHOT, HOG TIED, taken away from her mother, placed in a mental institution and exterminated.

Here is a condensed version of my feelings:

(After my initial viewing of the video)

Looking at this video showed me that the teacher, or whoever the woman was with the child, was ill trained in dealing with an UNRULY child. She was NOT Kicking, NOT screaming. YES, she did tear up some papers and knock somethings over. She did try to punch AT the woman, however, she never raised her voice above saying "NO!" Am I excusing her behavior? Of course not.


But hello? She is FIVE YEARS OLD! Her behavior wasn't out of the normal scope of a child her age! How on earth do u justify cuffing a CHILD? They could have sat with that little girl till her mother arrived. There are ways to redirect children without that prolonged display and if they don't know how to deal with a 5 yr old child's bad behavior, get a NEW JOB!

Remember, Florida has a very bad track record with incidents of children being disciplined in EXTREME ways for MINOR offenses. The Florida police also used a TAZER on a 6 yr old.
Common sense and better protocols/procedures for the police and the school district need to be impleted ASAP. It isnt rocket science. She isnt the 1st unruly child in kindergarten and she wont be the last.

THINK PEOPLE!

(In response to a poster saying the school was right for calling the police)

There are certain procedures, including BASIC COMMON SENSE measures, like redirection that are used with to handle a child who is acting out. What disturbs me is the CHOICE to get the POLICE involved. Has it come to this where the police are brought in to handle basic child issues?

I think not.

(In response to the assertion that THIS child was a bad seed)

It amazes me how people have painted this LITTLE girl as the POSTER CHILD for various SOCIETAL ILLS. It also amazes me when it appears that some of you have NO problem with the police handling SIMPLE COMMON SENSE situations when they could be arresting REAL CRIMINALS?

What on earth is going on?

(After seeing the 1st lawyer on the news)

Now, I watched the Today's Show this morning and listened to the mother's attorney. Evidently, the teacher and the assistant principal had been instructed "NOT to touch her child". With that piece of information, I feel that the MOM placed the school in a NO WIN position. Their hands were tied.

But there is enough blame to go around. We can ALL be textual arm chair quarterbacks AFTER the fact, however, this is still a CHILD. EVERY child is allowed to have a bad day. Or multiple bad days, but to PROJECT the image of MONSTER on her is wrong.

(My breaking point)

Here is how I feel based on all the comments and what I have read or seen in the media:

1.) I still think that the teachers COULD have taken her to a room that didn't have things in there to tear up. She COULD have taken her to the playground, the gym or the cafeteria and let her unwind, instead of a more claustrophobic room.

BUT she didn't.

2.) The mother COULD have gotten to the school earlier. Based on some PSEUDO CSI/ GOOGLE/ NEWS reports the incident happened around 2pm. Her mother was stated as saying she got off WORK at 3 and would be there at 3:15. Depending on the commute and whether or not she had been doing this repeatedly, it may have caused a financial hardship in the family to leave IMMEDIATELY. Heaven forbid she lose her job and wind up on state assistance, because THEN she will be just another mom on welfare.

But SHE didn't.

Now that in itself doesn't make her a bad mom, but IF this child has ongoing emotional problems, she has done herself and the school a disservice for NOT getting her the help she needs.

3.) When the police showed up, the little girl was calm and sitting down. They COULD have just waited with her until MOM showed up. They COULD have talked to her for a while to gain her confidence and reassure her.

But THEY didn't

4.) Assuming that this CHILD is a demon seed 24/7 is unfair. It IS however unfair for the other kids to be denied an education because of other children, but this was KINDERGARTEN! For GOOGLE's SAKE, the only thing that MAY have been missed are the intricacies of Jelly beans vs. Jolly Ranchers!

(In response to the lawsuit)

Finally, I don't believe in frivolous lawsuits. However, based on the news report, the lawyer said that it may take 6 months before a suit is filed. They have to first file an "INTENT TO SUE". There has to be an internal investigation and then legal action will be addressed. If I were on the jury, I would hope the mom would only get enough to adequately get her child the help she needs.
PERIOD.

(In response to racially insensitive comments)

Children of color don't need yet another stigma, especially one that labels them incorrigible or incapable of learning. Plus, this image in the press lends itself to SWEEPING generalizations and stereotypes.

From what I ALSO have read, her FEET were ALSO cuffed and she was placed in the back of the cruiser. That is so OUTRAGEOUS, but I will back up my point with this article dated almost a YEAR ago.
_______________________________________________________________________



http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/sptimes...ting+c
Deputies told to ask brass before arresting children

Soon after the arrest, [Kevin Doll] defended the deputy, saying that because there was enough evidence and the victim wanted prosecution, he was obliged to arrest the child. "That pretty much ties our hands, and we have to enforce the law," Doll said.

On Tuesday, though, Doll acknowledged that the deputy had other options. And, nine days after the arrest, Col. Richard Worch ordered the new procedure, which is to call a superior before taking a child 12 or younger to a detention center.

"Col. Worch wants the deputies to know that those possibilities are there and to look into them before taking a juvenile (12 or younger) to the juvenile assessment center," Doll said. "But that still may be the right thing to do."

The police FAILED to follow it's OWN rules.
_______________________________________________________________________

(In response to being asked why my comments weren't color blind)

I am an AFRICAN AMERICAN mom raising a 10 yr old disabled daughter. I see the effects of homelessness, poverty, teen pregnancy, crime and apathy in my city every day. It saddens me when I see cases like this because of narrow minded opinions that don't lend themselves to a wider scope of fairness and sensitivity. This child is NOT the devil incarnate. YES she was wrong. YES she needed to be disciplined. YES her mother clearly needs help. But painting a picture of a raving maniac that has ascended the depths of HELL to keep these poor poor children in ultimate DOOM and PERIL is a little overly DRAMATIC.

Placing ANY child in a HOG TIED position and placed in the back of a police car would be traumatic. But I guess until it happens to one of YOUR children we will never know. She isn't an animal.

Please dont treat her like one.

(in response to a poster understanding the child MAY have a learning or mental disability)

THANK YOU! I have been mentioning that to so many people ON and OFFLINE. It is SO important for children to be assessed by their pediatricians for developmental delays or delays in reaching basic developmental milestones as they grow. Early intervention services are KEY to making sure these children receive the appropriate diagnostics, case management, and service coordination.

My daughter was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and delayed myelination at 18 months old. Having her diagnosed early was critical to getting the best therapeutic options to facilitate her mental, physical, and emotional needs.

She has NEVER had a meltdown at school, but she does have problems with transitioning from one enviroment to the next. AFTER school is when the meltdowns occur occassionally. She is sometimes agitated and tired from the day's overstimulation and will just cry. For me, it was imperative to find what works for MY child as it relates to REDIRECTING her outbursts and getting her to "Self-Calm".

Children, similar to my daughter, that are autistic or have sensory integration dysfunction tend to have a difficult time with understanding visual, audio, tone, musical and verbal cues or sounds. Their brains have difficulty deciphering nerve messages to create comprehension and functionality of movements or speech.

So I am very sensitive to the handling of children, ESPECIALLY at this little girl's age when people are so quick to dismiss her as a bad seed. Her inability to express herself and the need to strike out is indicative of children with immature impulse responses or control. It could be from some underlying medical problem.

Inclusion and sensitivity shouldn't be so hard to give someone. but in this society, public spectacle, ridicule and shaming seems to be the Millenium equivalent to throwing the less advantaged to the lions in the Roman Coliseum.

Shame on us.

(In response to finding out the mother had fired her initial lawyer & is now making the talk show circuit)

I hate when situations are exploited for profit. The mother's motives for doing the interview may not be any different than the siege of publicity hounds that drive this sensationalistic media we have today. The WORSE thing this child needs is the idea that BAD BEHAVIOR needs to be rewarded. I agree that this case should be thrown out of an already beleaguered judical system. But if anything comes of this, perhaps an internal investigation of how the police deal with children will be addressed.

Now that I have seen the depths to the opportunistic displays, I am gonna walk away from this until I see the rest of this circus unfold. The "RACE" card is a term that has been applied to almost EVERY situation that involves an African American defendant and is clearly overused.

The quest for justice should be color blind. So should the quest of our teachers whose job is being underminded by parents that won't or haven't equipped their children with the necessary social, emotional and educational preparedness to learn. If this mom doesn't do the right thing by this child, shame on her.






April 21, 2005

Black History in Fabric


This is a quilt made by a woman that took her 35 years to complete. Posted by Hello

A Mural of Pain


Slave Mural Posted by Hello

Slave Pen


Slave Pen Posted by Hello

The Freedom Center


Male Slave Poem Posted by Hello


Tuesday I went with Lil Sepia's school to the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. Very moving museum, but this poem struck me.

It was housed in an actual slave pen, the size of a small barn, that held up to 50 men, women & children. The men were shackled on the top floor and the women and children were on the main floor.

I'm sad just thinking about it.

April 16, 2005

Simplicity


What's on YOUR Desktop?

I love to use different themes. But sometimes, LESS is MORE. *wink* Posted by Hello

Enough Said :)


Words of Wisdom Posted by Hello

I took this photo while dropping off Lil Sepia at school. Hmm, maybe we can get some of humanity a refresher course.

Sepialove ;-)